Leap into Chaos

Last weekend Craig cut down a whole hedgerow along the property line between our yard and our neighbor's yard to make way for the northwest native plants we will plant this spring. Faced with extreme exposure because now we had no visual barrier between us and our neighbors and a HUGE pile of sticks, I decided that I needed to bundle the sticks and use them as a fence. An airy visual blur of slicks would give me the privacy I had grown accustomed to.

It seemed like such a good idea - right? Well, when I was suddenly faced with sorting through that pile of sticks, I felt annoyed that they didn't just all stand up and get into order for me so I could simply tie twine around them. No, I had to pull, yank; get scrapped and cut; prune, chop and saw the tough, lean long lengths of wood. At first I thought I could create some kind of order, get the thicker sticks in the back of the bundle, but after doing battle with too many sticks so I could get my desired thick stick, I realized that I had to abandon that plan. No, what was required of me was to just jump in to the pile, start pulling out sticks randomly and then make sense of them after they were tangled free. After I let go of my plan - I was able to move swiftly and piles of sticks started forming on the ground until I had enough for a bundle. And then another bundle. And then 12 bundles. When I tied up my first bundle, it occurred to me that humans have an instinct to create order out of chaos. The I-ching is just lines, originally yarrow stalks, which offers a structure and progression for all things human. Was I making my own hexagram in every bundle I made? From my experience, when I am dealing with raw materials whether it is a pile of sticks or a lump of clay or a dream state, I find it challenging but interesting and satisfying to render and manipulate it. It's not any single idea that will begin the progression from raw material to finished form but rather the sheer intention and energy to make it so. Only by leaping into the chaos will I ever progress.